"A" vs. "The"

The woman who delivered me eighteen years ago prescribed me birth control a few hours ago. I've neither had my first boyfriend nor my first kiss. I'm not sexually active and I'm not planning on having sex anytime soon. I simply have one major problem that somehow warrants the taking of an unnecessary pill every single day. I'd have preferred the prescription for extra strength ibuprofen all by itself, but somehow I got tricked into taking home these tiny pills that are arranged in a neat little